On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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