hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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