she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize