So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
