I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize
