Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
So many bounce houses so little time
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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