READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
