i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
