goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
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