I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
