hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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