also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize