CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
