dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Randomize