john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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