Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
