I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
