What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
