She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
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