Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
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you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
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its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize