I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
