do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
