My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize