What did we do last night that was yellow?
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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