Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
accomplished twins. life is a go
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
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