So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
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