so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Randomize
