do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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