Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
did you just send me my own nude
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Randomize
