After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize