I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
