I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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