Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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