If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
