she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
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