Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Randomize
