Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
