***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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