my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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