Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
She needs sedatives and a leash
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
