I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
