I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
