watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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