have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
You had me at "let me see your balls"
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
