he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
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