watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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