hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Randomize