I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
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Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
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I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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