Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
