he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
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