Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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