Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
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