Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
