I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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