So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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